Gilbergstrom and Sullivan

With his permission, I would like to post the lyrics of my brilliant friend Carl Bergstrom's wonderful new song "Modern Research Parasite".  Built on a rhythmic scaffold provided by Gilbert and Sullivan's "Major-General's Song" from The Pirates of Penzance, enjoy Carl's masterpiece. Here it is:

I am the very model of a modern research parasite,
I build on other research leaving only here-and-there a cite.
I know the Nobel laureates and quote the fights cladistical,
From Felsenstein to Farris using language most statistical. 

I can passage flu in ferrets to endanger all humanity,
And argue open access until Harnad sounds like Hannity.
I know our mythic history, from Galen to Chetverikov,
And advocate the medicines you cannot get generic of. 

I’ve memorized the sequence of each ENCODE base of DNA,
And I can tell at sight Feng Zhang from Doudna and Charpentier.
But still I need your data like anemics need their ferrocite.
I am the very model of a modern research parasite.

For more context, check out Carl's Twitterstream:  @CT_Bergstrom.  I hope Carl gets the band back together so he can post his live rendition on YouTube.